Please forgive grammar, capitalization. I wrote this on my phone. Dad. your birthday is tomorrow. I haven't figured out yet how I feel. I know I miss you. I also know you'd tell me to stop moping. but, you always said I was independent and headstrong, so I am going to mope a little anyways. Tonight someone recommended I do something you enjoyed. I know a song I will likely listen to and cry as I miss you. But the thing that came to mind as something to do that you enjoyed was to have a beer. Now, you know that's a big deal for me because I don't like beer, but the more I think about it the more I like the idea. I might call your cell number tomorrow... I think it's been deactivated but if by some chance your voicemail is still there I know I'll at least get to hear your voice say your name. I miss your voice, dad. It was always so low and gravel-ly. I remember laughing to no end as we would shoot pool in the basement and you would sing "Jeremiah was a bullfrog." I miss the mischievous look you'd get in your eye when I knew you were thinking of something to say that you knew would get a rise out of me. You were good at that. It hurts because this is all the kind of stuff that I would talk to you about while listening to music and shooting pool, but you're not here to do that now. I dislike crying and I'm frustrated that I'm doing it as I write this. It's not the same without you. The world didn't rock off its axis or anything, but my world is emptier. I always told you that you'd give me plenty of fodder for my sermons... that still seems true, but I don't think I'm ready yet. So, yeah, I miss you... and maybe Thursday my faith will kick into high gear and hope will be my main feeling, but right now, this just sucks because I miss you. Love you always dad.
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AuthorI've been Robyn for my whole life. I've been a wife for 10 years and a mom for 5 years. I've been a pastor for about 10 years. I'm still stumbling, but I'm still standing. Archives
April 2019
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