So. This is Holy Week. Probably one of the most intense weeks in the life of a pastor, not to mention in a two pastor household. This week between David and myself we will lead 10 services between Thursday through Sunday. This means that we don't see a whole lot of each other during this time. It means that Lucas doesn't get to see a lot of us during this time. Holy week means that we seek the easiest possible meals to prepare because we're just wiped out. It means that as much as I love holy week it can be difficult for me to actually worship. This means that my brain is kind of one step above mush. Therefore, this post probably won't be all that deep or meaningful. Someone asked what it is like to be a pastor mom married to another pastor. One of the ways that I can express what this is what holy week is like. It's really hard to feel like a good mom during weeks like this because of the amount of time I am away from home. By the time Sunday ends Lucas will have spent A LOT of time with babysitters. My guess is that he will be asking for me and David. Although he loves his sitters there is nothing like mommy and daddy for little man. I particularly think that Sunday is going to be tough for little man. Sunday morning I have a sunrise service at 6:30 am. (This means that I'll get to church around 5:30 am, which means waking up about 4:45.) This also leaves David on his own with Lucas. A Lucas who he will have to get up and out the door by 6:40 so that he can drop him at my church by 6:45 so that he can get to his church for their services. All of this means that by the time things are wrapped up at my church (probably around 12:45) poor Lucas will have been at church for 6 hours. (Poor Sophie, too). 6 hours at church for a 4 year old means that he will likely be less than happy after being woken up early and leaving early without our normal routine, which means a less than nice pre-schooler. This usually includes tantrums, yelling, screaming, running, etc. Which isn't always met with understanding or joy by everyone. It makes it hard for me to feel like a very good mommy when I know my son is falling into grumpy territory and there isn't a whole lot I can do to help him find his calm. So, yeah, holy week offers quite the challenge to the mommy side of my mommy/pastor identity. The mommy guilt kicks in pretty intensely. In addition to this mommy guilt about being absent from my son and putting my son through hours of church that is a little beyond his patience, we also probably will not celebrate Easter with him until Monday. I mean, we'll attempt it Sunday afternoon, but by the time we take our all family nap time, have a snack, and generally start to feel human again, having an Easter egg hunt and baskets is kind of unlikely. Therefore, we probably will do that fun on Monday. This is probably the last year we'll be able to get away with it. I'm not sure what to do at that point but we'll figure it out when that time comes.
There you have it. Pastor mommy struggles at their height in a busy, difficult season. Sorry for the short post but hope you understand where I'm at and forgive my briefness. Perhaps grace can abound while I gracefully stumble through this week. Blessed holy week to you all!
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AuthorI've been Robyn for my whole life. I've been a wife for 10 years and a mom for 5 years. I've been a pastor for about 10 years. I'm still stumbling, but I'm still standing. Archives
April 2019
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